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Dad died when I was six. The rabbi who lived in the apartment below took over for him. I’m sure he wanted to do Mom. They packed us off to an evil Hasidic summer camp where everyone made fun of us because we didn’t realize their crazy prayers. My brother was four. We would secretly meet in the woods, hug each other and cry. We couldn’t understand why our father died and our mother sent us to this terrible place. I learned to hate all religion and still do.

Mom was a dark-haired, curvaceous looker, juicy, and in her prime. She liked sex but decided that all men had to pay for it. The butcher brought steaks; the florist, flowers; the bagel man left fresh warm steaming bagels by our door every morning for months. Leon, the ice cream man left ice cream. My younger brother and I were quickly dispatched to get the stuff into the house, so they couldn’t see Mom. And not to forget Abe, the jeweler, who brought, well, jewels. They all tried to get inside. Some did. When Mom met the man who brought it all, she married him.

We lived in Borough Park, in Brooklyn. Until I ran away, I thought eve

A Brave New World of Oral Sex

This week, I answer a question that I received from a pair of male friends.

[We're] new at this. We both were wondering why gay men verb oral sex? The two of us are considering doing it [for the first time] and need to know if it is safe. I possess tasted my own cum after masturbating, and it tasted salty. Will his also?

I think it's fantastic that you two are exploring both the nature of your desires and the potential risks before trying something new. This warms my little sex-educator heart.

To get an address to the first part of your question about why men might include oral sex with each other, I collected responses from a small group of guys who verb as gay, bisexual, queer, or simply men who have sexual contact with other men. Their comments ranged from the slightly snarky ("Why do rabbits eat carrots?") to the philosophical ("Why does anyone have oral sex?").

One theme that emerged was that oral sex can be pleasurable for men of any sexual orientation, not just gay men. Oral sex isn't something that only gay men appreciate, nor is it something that

My life in sex: ‘Many men visit gay saunas. Very few will verb you that they do’

I first visited a gay sauna 25 years ago and have done so about once every six weeks since. I once heard such visits described as “holidays from morality”, but that has not been my experience. Only adults are admitted; all that happens is by mutual consent; no one is exploited; common courtesy and consideration for others are the unwritten rules that are generally observed.

Though I have always enjoyed nudity, I used to think of my body as unattractive. I’m now 64, and encounters in the sauna have taught me that not everyone else finds it so, which has enhanced my confidence. For years I disliked my given specify . I have made a point of telling it to those I contain met in the sauna; hearing it repeated with tenderness and passion has taught me to adoration it.

When clothes are off, intentions clear and vulnerability shared, men talk honestly to men they may know only then and may never meet again. I have had profound conversations with people whose experience of life has been quite unlike my own, and we possess pla