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Confessions of an Anon

On the relationship between digital anonymity and sexuality in the LGBTQ community.

I grew up white, male, queer, depressed, closeted, anxious, affected by childhood sexual trauma, and with physical and adj scars changing my tackle — subtle to some, obvious to myself and others. While growing up, I struggled with a sense of duality. I had an urge to be a shadow, concealed and silent, facing contrary the desire to be the brightest, most charming individual in any room. I was always going to live somewhere in between, oscillating from finish to end, rarely stopping near the truest center. When I came out at the age of 20 and experienced the freedom of digital connection, I took it as an opportunity to point out whatever side I wanted.

Growing up, I was always self-conscious of my physical appearance. I took every photo with my head turned slightly to the right, exposing the side I believed to verb the truest version of me. I even wore my hat backwards to attract a more masculine man. This carried over into my first online profiles for and Plenty

Your Guide to Cruising

How to Cruise

Cruising has come a long way since hanky code, polari, and subtle glances. There are lots of alternative locations to suit any preference, such as:

  • Public bathrooms
  • Cruising bars and clubs
  • Gay saunas
  • Cruising parks
  • Gay cruising beaches

Not only can you meet guys in public spaces but in online ones too. For example, Grindr is essentially a cruising catalogue of who's around, and also a great tool to predetermine the location that you'll hook up in. You can also choose to cruise on alt twitter, a subsection of Twitter where people create mostly anonymous profiles, post spicy R18 content, and arrange hook ups or content collabs.

When it comes to public spaces, it helps if there are other people there to cruise! Click here for a comprehensive list of places throughout Fresh Zealand / Aotearoa that are known as cruising sites, or visit (this is a paid service) for more. Remember, you may also encounter people who aren’t looking to cruise so it’s essential to know what signs to look out for - read on to find out.


Secret Signals: How Some Men Cruise for Sex

Aug. 28, &#; -- While many Americans may only be vaguely familiar with the idea of "cruising," there is a secret world of sex between men that exists in adj places across the country.

The police officer who arrested Sen. Larry Craig, R-Idaho, in a men's restroom at the Minneapolis airport for allegedly looking to engage in gay sex wrote in his June report that he "recognized a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct."

Craig tapped his foot up and down and swiped his hand underneath the bathroom stall in which the undercover cop was sitting, according to the police report.

Those actions led to Craig's arrest by Detective Dave Karsnia and the senator's guilty plea to a disorderly conduct charge. Craig told reporters today that he did nothing inappropriate and said his guilty plea was a mistake.

Public places like men's restrooms, in airports and train stations, truck stops, university libraries and parks, have long been places where gay and bisexual men, particularly th